Saturday, November 29, 2014

Merry ThanksTaking-oween.

Finally, after two days of near-comatose abdominal abdication, my fingers have returned to a non-swollen state, and I can again view my chode in all it's angry glory; no doubt hindered by the continual functional alcoholism that is more funner than a baggie of oregano on the KS/CO border.

But with the Hollipay behind us, let us rejoice in the eyes of the Lard, for the riding has been plentiful and I am just going to buy a camper and park it outside of the Bier Station so as to alleviate any risk of missing out on events such as today's Goose Island release - Bourbon County Stout you had me at jello. I once traded a SS 26er for a single bottle of the nectar -worth $120 on eBay, a 2008 vintage- and though I am not a fan of anything that resembles whiskey/bourbon, I can appreciate the quality of  a beer of this magnitude in small amounts....or large if need be.

...from the lost files of the 8Lumens Cave Crash.

...another fine brew on tap this week.

...Dejay you can slap me over breakfast anytime.

Next week, if all goes as foretold by the Demons, I will travel to Ft. Collins where many miles of single-track will be violated and even more fine micro-brews invested in quantities not unlike a dam being demolished upriver from my mouth...let us hope that the snow can hold its horses until I arrive back here in Kansas Shitty.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Shit in a Butt Pussy*

It should be illegal to have such a productive week, one in which so much progress was made in the arena of human rights and animal wrongs, a cornucopia of arm-wrestling tournaments and beefcake adjustments; who could have guessed that  Team Ochos Lumenos would be given amnesty to wreak havoc on the border of sanity time after time with Cyndi Lauper and Rob Lowe. At the weekly Bored Meeting we, as honorable shareholders of stock in stripper tokens and body condoms, made many future-foward decisions concerning the value of my next line of stickers and the mega-mogul move of having a prototype cycling hat with fold-down earflaps - a design that is only 40 years late in arriving.
But the crowning achievement of the last hebdomadal was not the abuse of the barley pop, nor the slaying of the track of single: it was simply the Stagramming of the * title of this night's blog by the one and baloney Chasmgasm; for how can this dear innocent wurl survive without the constant flow of epithet-driven discourse/comment sections...

...I have little shame to begin with, especially when we are considering the intake of grain-based liquids, and the simple fact that I was a patron of the Bier Station 3 times in 6 days was a mark off my bucket list to be sure. Next up: selling myself into virtual servitude to the Devil in the details. 

...there are few good things in OkeyHomey and Praire Artisan Ales might be atop the pile.

Spelunking of groupsex...#hardcorbincummybuns and I had quite the ride out on the newly-opened Basement Downhill at BuRP...

...oh Leah Jung, you delete me.

...and, speaking of Hawt-Ass tattooed chicks, The Pirate and his little welding Sanford and Sons gig Oddity Cycles has some serious shite going down in Ft. Collins, this Fatbike frame being the current offender...Schmookie ma Pookie in ma Dookie.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Pin the tail on the Honkey.

So so so much to tell and so little motivation to perambulate the edges of idiom; to tickle my dialect like a greased Kardashian, to plot the demise of the Democratic party via the Keystone Pipeline, to beg the question of which beer to dump into my failing liver...

But, alas, twas a week of transition and revery, and, aside from the Death-by-Polar-Vortex that has settled in upon the vast majority of the North American continent, a saturnalia of sickness was enjoyed by the Princess Himself in the form of a serious beer-nerdfest Monday night, followed by the shenanigans of Peelander Z, then a vainglorious 3 days in a row off of work, culminating in some mt. bikeyness at the Rozarks and Roanoke...

...even found time for an 8Lumens Bored Meeting at the Bier Station, wherein multiple UN treaties were violated and I single-handedly made sure that next spring's barley and malt harvest will be a roaring success.

...many thanks to the PoisonPeacock for sharing this gem.

...and, I finally finished the first season of True Detective....good Gawd.