Monday, April 13, 2015

Butt Burps and Broken Boners.

I'm not really sure where all the time has gone lately: all I know is that I have been mega-inefficient with its usage, wasting countless hours drowning my liver with only the finest malted beverages, searing the images of dry single-track into the depths of my perception, all the while attempting in vain to get Chasm to like anything I do...

This is the same Brian that is in charge of Single Speed Kansas City, even though he currently is sans bike, a sordid litany of hasty sales and prostitution on the highest order - really high, really tall.
Butt, as per Vegas pre-dick-shuns, I have begun somewheres in the middle, not unlike my surging belly blocking the view of my stack of dimes.

Until yesterday's deluge, the dirt has been beyond heroic here in KC, and the trails just keep getting better -with the help of the inimitable David HasselSHOFF - his current masterpiece of flow and features being the newly extended Rozarks in South KCK, which I rode on my neglected Krampussy ( one more day til the Pivot is ready ) and took a trip through 100+ years of refuse and disuse that the trail works its way through south to Mission Cliffs. 

The trail weaves its way though turn of the century rock house foundations and over long-abandonded streets that were cut off by the construction of I-35, the snake that lies in wait along the Turkey Creek corridor as Kansas becomes Missouri: all this within a stones-throw of 39th st. and the KU Med Center; and of course Volker Bicycles, the shop wherein KCMO comes to slaughter the almighty dollar. And, whilst we are on the subject of Kansas-based bike-cycles, let us rejoice in the glory-hole that is Oddity Cycles, currently based in Ft. Collins, and quickly becoming the go-to choice for all sexual preferences of mt. biking, the latest transition being Jl_b8 and his bootyful 29+, which rides like my prom date on meth.

...also, the NAHBS masterbatorial masterwork Monster Cross - Manimal's ....

Anygay, enough about forward-leaning cycling, beer. Beer. BEEER.

...Hays MotherFUCKING Kansas representing BrownBackistan with a fervor.

...And, though I mourn the loss of Double Wide, this IPA might be even better.

1 comment:

  1. I'm starting up a blog

    Now I know there used to be one just like it but the last post was in like 2010 so fuck them, it's mine now.

    Any chance you could give my fledgling pit of depravity a shout out? Really need contributions... balls, boobs, butts, whatever people are willing to place on a top tube and take a photo. The more naughty the better.

    Skippy out!