Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Consume excrement and perish, Winter...




     Yet another polar vortex has cum and gone, leaving us here in KC with a frozen facial of record-breaking proportions, a veritable Ron Jeremy of moisture. But that's what Fatbikes are for, for felatio's sake, so over the last 5 days or so, I have been out on the Kaw River sandbar twice on ice, snow and frost-bitten, polluted mud attempting to get a few miles on my hippo-like legs before the impending doom of daylight savings time is reversed into the history books...what a freetarded system of analyzing the path of the sun around the earth - as the Republicans believe. I managed to mount the ol' Pro of Go on my helmet this time and got some Travoltaesque, Oscar-worthy footage that if I ask nicely, maybe Fatbike.com will feature in their 'weekly dose of fat' section; though Gomez is frightened that if that happens, the NSA will surely break down his door to ascertain his questionable relationship to the Boner Ghost. So enjoy a smidgen of the Big Muddy's red-headed, mutated, one-armed, two-teethed step brother, aka The Kansas River....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLoyk_gqVpo&feature=youtu.be 














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