In layman's terms, there is no better way to experience the proximate effects of mobile entropy than to eat 5000 calories of cow flesh after driving 10 miles roundtrip for the luxury of a prepared meal: first world guilt to be sure, but when we, as Westerners have set such a deplorable, atrocious example - read end without means - the ripples are more like tidal waves. And so begins the previously begun tirade against my own way of life, a stereotypical case study in conformity and general malaise towards one's purely voluntary stasis. It is never enough to protest without first breaking a few windows along the way, knowing that on the false finish line the act of surrender is merely a synonym for temporary, interim death by phalanx commiseration...
...so fuck it: let's party like a horny-ass quadrant of Russian, melting permafrost, releasing methane in quantities yet undiscovered by the 700 Club, aborting as many apolitical babies as possible.
...Pub n' Pedal is cumming; wear 2 condoms.
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