Monday, September 1, 2014

Teetotaller Grannies high on coffee and Neopolitan ice cream.

And other such wonders of the multiverse of options supplied by one's kooky kinfolk....

1. Fuck Time Warner Cable.
2. Fuck Time Warner Cable.
3. Fuck Time Warner Cable.
4. Fuck the FCC.

History is a fickle mistress, and repeats herself with annoying consistency, yet I am still somehow amazed by the myopic character of my fellow American closeted, racist, dipshit-for-brains freetarded imbeciles. In other semantically  gymnastic vernacular, give me a percolator of black coffee 3 times a day and a half gallon of Neopolitan ( 3 flavors cordoned off like the Green Zone in D-Baghdad ) and not a drop of the Deevil's baby gravy; that is how I plan to live to the rotten old age of 96, like my two Germanic Grandmothers. Of course, I had already failed miserably at this noble endeavor - the original Straightedgers, aka "teetotaler" - by the sour age of 13, and this by no means negates any future attempt to cleanse my internal plumbing of the poisons of fermented grains. Butt, whometh am I kidding? With my sordid history of substance and masterbatorial abuse, I will be lucky to attain retirement age before my liver/member expire from calluses the size of the Redwood stuck in Bill O'Reilly's anus.

Let us now rejoice in the Holy Spirits that surround us all when listening to the latest release by Trans Am, one of my all-time favorite bands, and peruse the week that was in the land of the Lumens and their Supreme Leaker, Princess Boner Ghost:

..the Arcus Cloud that I beat by 10 minutes on Friday night on my urban ride to Westport.

...the cranks/frame on my 3.5 year old Pugsley bleeding rust after yet another float trip down Mill Creek KS.

...the Greaserama pre-party at The Record Bar after the storms on Friday night.

...Flenker's latest brews at the Green Room

Getting fatter and fatter at back to school night...

...busting 3 nuts on the Jones 29+ at BuRP amongst the spiders and horse shit.

...and finally, the sum total of work accomplished at the weekly 8Lumens board meeting.

907 Carbon; 19.7 lbs. with pedals.

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