And so it was written, Jesus laid his hands on the poor and they became rich enough to buy themselves a set of Rabbit Holes with 29x3 Knards...and through the eye of the needle they passed, smacking their 170mm bars on every tree in sight. The only thing stopping the Devil from intervening in Purgatory was the presence of the newest Fuck Buttons CD blaring from the pearly-knecklace gates. In other, more linear words, I was able to get 20 or so miles of tasty trail under my garter belt this evening out on the Blue River; even though I had to get through the minefield of equestrian fecal matter every 20 yards or so. Gawd a horse steak sounds good right about now.
That being said, the trails were in impeccable condition and the rocks knelt down before me and begged for sweet mercy; they were completely disappointed in their failed efforts to dethrone me from my rocket whip - a.k.a the Jones Spaceframe of Mach 7 thrust. I am hesitant to declare a winner in the Jones vs. Krampus battle royale, but as per usual, many mucho more hours of beta testing will be required to come to anything that qualifies as a post-theoretical denouement. All I can say with any certainty is that the 29+ format - actually the outer diameter is 30.5 - ( take that and shove your 650b up your dry cock-hole) is really the only way to tackle ultra-technical trail on a rigid bike. Even though the Jones can only fit a 2.5 on the rear, it is still faster than coke flowing into Courtney Love's nasal passageway; only a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of thangs.
Hopefully after the rains end we will be able to get back out and smack some shit up out at SMP or Swope some fateful night this week; for who are we to think we can bury the demons so easily - as paltry disciples of dirt we owe Mother Earth only our best efforts.
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